Wednesday – 1 April – 07:11am
Ever get the feeling that you’re being punk’d? Like this is not real life? I woke up feeling this way today. I came across a photo on Instagram yesterday that depicted the outside of a modern-day, 80s-style cinema with the display panel above the entrance reading, “Closed until real life doesn’t feel like a movie. Stay safe. Be kind.” and I thought, “That pretty much sums it up”. It’s like this virus walked into the room a few months ago and announced itself, but nobody took it seriously and now, the seemingly endless April Fool’s joke is on all of us.
I feel unsettled in my space today and I’m starting to dislike how the lines are blurring between my remote-working life and home life. I was trying to establish a ‘lockdown’ routine, but since the not-so-great day I had yesterday, the routine I was starting to form got thrown out of the window so my entire day was unbalanced and the things that went undone are now bothering me. The incidences of yesterday seem to have brought a weird, awkward energy into my home that I’m not used to and now I’m not sure how to dispel it or how to get my sense of balance back.
Maybe it’s also just a little cabin fever creeping in on top of everything, but I know that the only way to handle it is to try to remain level-headed, confront my discomfort and power through at this point. Ain’t nobody got time to wallow or fall apart, regardless of how you feel. This, in some sense of the word, is a time of war. And every day, more so now than ever, we are fighting battles against enemies that we cannot see with the naked eye – fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, frustration, inadequacy and purposelessness, to name a few – and that’s besides the overarching battle against the virus. This negativity will consume you if you let it. Sensitivities are high, people are in panic/survival mode and it’s easy to let that kind of energy disrupt your peace.
So today, in a bid to combat negativity that creeped in, I think I’m going keep my distance from the outside world and focus on recentering myself, which should help me regain balance in my routine and in so doing, hopefully change the energy surrounding me and my space. I’m armed with my goal list for today and I’m gonna sprinkle it with the serenity prayer for good measure:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Be safe. Stay strong. Stay home.