Sunday – 5 April – 01:51pm
Today, I realised that I’ve had virtually zero chill over the past 10 days. From the start of this lockdown, I’ve been on go-go-go mode and striving to do all the things I could think of to maximise my productivity during this time. But what I didn’t think about was that productivity comes in different forms. Now, when I should be taking care of myself the most, I’ve actually been practicing self-care the least – and feeling the negative effects of my neglect. I’ve been having weird dreams/nightmares every night for the last 4 days, feeling increasingly uneasy in my space, feeling either super exhausted at the end of the day or dealing with nights of insomnia from not being able to shut my brain down, my back is killing me and I just feel totally mentally and emotionally unbalanced overall.
I speak so often about the importance of maintaining creative wellness, yet here I am, ignoring my own advice and setting myself on a road straight to Burnoutville. So, as detailed here in my last letter for this lockdown period, I’m shutting my computer down for the rest of the day. After I promote this last post on the socials, I’m slowly backing away from my keyboard and finally going to focus on being fully present and enjoying other things that make my soul sing, like cooking, reading, meditating, taking a long bubble bath and finally binge-watching Netflix until my eyes bleed (something I’ve never properly done before). The weather is perfect for lazing around in my bathrobe and having a movie day on the couch so for the first time in a while, I’m taking full advantage.
Over the last year, I’ve had to learn the hard way that saying you’ve reached your limit is ok. And that, in itself, is a form of self-care, self-help and strength, not weakness.
As for the new lockdown challenge for the next 10 days, I haven’t quite figured out what I’ll be doing yet, but it’s definitely going to be much-needed change of creative medium and pace.
Lastly, happy Palm Sunday to all my fellow Christian peeps!
Be safe. Stay strong. Stay home.