Now, magical moments go hand in hand with magical feelings and they are not always easy to navigate. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about any magical feeling it’s that if it results in more harm than good, it’s never the positive kind.
(Opening image courtesy of Freepik and Yulia)
Truth be told, there are moments of magic from my past that I used to cling to secretly when my present felt unbearable. But the fact is, it’s not healthy. I had to learn to let go so I could move on and find new, positive magic that’s out there waiting for me.
I heard this song for the first time recently and the chorus was so fitting for this piece. I just had to include it.
To do this, I thought that I needed to put those memories in a box and forget, but a friend explained to me that true healing and progress is not found in the forgetting. It’s found in how you remember.
So this is how I’m learning to let go, but honour those magical moments from a distance:
* Remove physical triggers – If your memories are of a much-loved family member or friend, this may be a difficult step for you so you might want to skip it. However, it really helped me. I suggest removing trigger objects of the memories from your space and sight, even if it’s just while you’re trying to move on or make peace with someone not being around anymore. I find that having reminders of them around constantly makes it difficult to release your grip on the memories and progress. You can always re-introduce those objects back into your space when you feel strong enough.
* Focus on the present and the future – we cannot change the past so there’s no point living in it. Think of ways that you can make the here and now a magical moment to remember. When a nostalgic memory comes up, acknowledge it, but do not entertain it for too long and counter it with a thought of thankfulness or gratefulness and personal growth to realign your focus. eg. “That moment was so special. You taught me how to be more spontaneous and I’m grateful for that. Now I know that it’s ok to not be in control of situations all the time.”
* Confront the memory – When some time has passed and you feel mentally and emotionally stronger, try to confront the very difficult or bitter-sweet memories head on. For me, this means playing that song that I’ve skipped on my playlist for so long, bringing that photo out of storage or driving down that road instead of taking the longer route to avoid the memory. You won’t know how much you’ve really grown until you try to face your weakness head-on. And if confronting it is too much to handle, you’re just not ready yet. And that’s ok! Keep moving forward and one day, you’ll get there.
Look out for Part 3 to conclude the Moments and Memories series. In it, we’ll discuss the one aspect of this topic that everybody tries to avoid – the bad memories. I’ll share some tips on how to confront them, take back your power and begin the healing process.