Moments and Memories: letting go of the darkness

Dark forest

In the last two posts, we’ve discussed finding the magical moments and honouring them, but what about the bad moments? Everyone has a moment from their past that haunts them; that they haven’t been able to make peace with. Some of these moments leave us feeling scarred, insecure and vulnerable to say the least. There are moments in my life that I still suffer from and am trying to make peace with. I have all the tools and logically, I know what to do and how to use them, but it doesn’t make them any less difficult to move past.
(Opening image courtesy of Freepik and Phongthorn Hiranlikhit)


If you feel like you want to tackle your demons, but don’t know where to start, try some of these points:

* Surround yourself with positivity – When you’re in a difficult place mentally and emotionally, having positive people and energy around you helps dispel negativity. It’s even better when they are able to be a confidant as well. Everyone needs help once in a while (even if it’s a shoulder to cry on), but make sure that you’re able to give just as you receive. Being a confidant can be draining so you need to replenish that person’s energy as well by being there for them in turn and expressing your appreciation and gratefulness to them when they are there for you. All good, lasting relationships require a healthy balance of give and take.

* Don’t ignore the issue – For some of us, the immediate reaction to dealing with the aftermath of a negative situation is to put it in a box and bury it deep inside ourselves and never speak of it again – especially if it is particularly painful. But we know that this is just a coping mechanism and doesn’t really resolve the issue or help us make peace with it. Being someone who is known for digging the deepest possible graves in my mind and my heart, I’ve found that confronting a situation in the moment, if not soon after, goes a long way to preserving your peace of mind. Sometimes the issue will still remain unresolved, but the point is that you can rest well knowing that you’ve tried everything to reach a compromise or put it to rest.

* Learn to deal with no apology – This is often the most difficult situation to be in. There are people out there who will hurt us and never apologise or show remorse for it. Often, we then retaliate in anger by harbouring a grudge and never forgiving them, but actually, we’re only hurting ourselves in the process. They won’t feel a second of the pain or anguish that scorches us every day. The only way to deal with this hurt is to heal your soul and find peace within yourself. Beginning a meditation or prayer routine specifically aimed at spiritual healing will help so much in this regard, but reading up on healing and personal growth will also supplement the process.

 

Pray and Self-help books
I like to start each day reading my Bible Diary and writing a reflection and prayer in my notebook (left). Another book that has helped me overcome great difficulty is the Secrets of Resilient People by John Lees (right).

 

* Take back the power – remove the negative weight from around your leg! It’s no good trying to surround yourself with positive energy and heal when you keep getting sucked into a black hole. Don’t wait for a sign to know that this is your moment to change your life. Every moment is your moment if you want it to be. You just have to be ready for it and want it more than you want to be comfortable because it will change your life in one way or another. And don’t run back to that place of complacency when things get difficult! Make a pact with yourself that there’s no going back. You need to trust that you will receive all the blessings that you deserve. If you’re someone who believes in God, I’ll share this verse that has carried me through some of the most insecure, faithless, dark times in my life: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11.

Everyone deserves moments of true magic. The kind that is found in a new perspective, the silver linings or the eye of a storm. The kind that is sometimes fleeting but forever memorable; moments that you want to honour with a smile before allowing them to pass. But the Rolling Stones said it best: “You can’t always get what you want…you get what you need”. If you are trying to work through difficult memories, take every moment of your experience and use it to fuel a fire of passion in your heart, tenacity in your mind and joyfulness in your soul. Above all, take comfort in knowing that everything and every moment on this earth is temporary and it’s made that way for a reason.

To all of you who journeyed with me through the Moments and Memories series, it was great to have you along for the ride! I hope that you’ve found the tips in each post helpful. If you have, let me know by commenting below or drop me a message on my Instagram page.

Carpe diem and on to the next!

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